(ANA and HENRY, in their late teens, are sitting on opposite sides of a booth table in a 1950’s-style diner which is filled with people, mostly families with children. The booth seats are deep cherry red. ANA is a young woman with full, red lips and long, sleek, dark hair which falls almost to her waist. She has a slender waist and full hips and breasts. She is entirely unaware of her own beauty. HENRY is small for his age and won’t get much bigger over his lifetime. He has bright, blond hair, an eager face and a twinkle in his light brown eyes.)
ANA: Wait, wait, pH stands for power of hydrogen? What. No way. That’s super cool. It sounds like intergalactic forces or something. Powers of hydrogen: the Almighty Ones. Buh-nuh-nuh-naaahhh. (Mockingly sings Beethoven.)
HENRY: I guess I never thought it was cool: power of hydrogen. (laughs) I’m such a nerd for knowing the def for that.
ANA: Nahh… well actually yeah, but you know all of us are nerds really. Anyway, we’re like the sexy nerds, you know? Who are all into LOTR and Han Solo and shit. Not those nerds who are, like, living under rocks eating pond scum right? We’re like, badass.
(HENRY and ANA both laugh.)
HENRY: So speaking of nerd-dom, I was talking with your grandma yesterday…
ANA: Whyyy?
HENRY: I, uh, needed some advice. Figured being an “elder one” and all she’d have some useful knowledgeables in her.
ANA: Yeah, you’re pretty nerdy asking my gran for life advice. So what was it?
HENRY: What?
ANA: Yoouuu knoooww.
HENRY: Umm…
ANA: Dude, just tell me what you asked her about. We’ve like, known each other forev’s so just spew it out already.
(During the following line ANA looks at HENRY with big eyes while sipping from a giant coffee cup.)
HENRY: Umm, ahh… huh, yeah it sounds – well we were talking about…um…huh. Oy okay – stop looking at me like that – uh, (with wavering voice) love?? – yeah, okay, umm…
(Very long pause filled with copious amounts of blushing.)
ANA: (Staring down into her cup.) Oh. (smiling mischieviously) Nerd.
(HENRY and ANA look at each other for a long moment, breathing heavily. “Hold Me” by Fleetwood Mac is playing on the jukebox. Suddenly HENRY gets up, moves over to ANA’s side of the bench. He never breaks eye contact. Then HENRY leans in and starts kissing ANA with the deepest passion of his soul. His hand moves up her thigh and she gasps loudly. Then, without removing their clothes at all, they begin to have passionate sex in the booth.)
ANA: Oh god…god, oh god!
(People in the diner start to stare and suddenly there is a general uproar as parents try to screen their children’s eyes.)
PARENTS: (overlapping)
Don’t look!
Come here!
Grab the coats! Now!
What a disgusting place! I’m never coming back!
(A five-year-old CHILD breaks free from his MOTHER’s grasp and runs towards HENRY and ANA, who are entirely oblivious to the entire scene around them. The CHILD kneels on the seat of the opposite booth and gazes at the couple.)
MOTHER: Come back here! What are you doing? Don’t look!
CHILD: But why not?
MOTHER: Because! It’s filthy!
CHILD: No. It isn’t. (smiles and returns to looking at the couple) It’s life!
(Blackout. Lights fade up and everything is set as it was at the opening of the scene with ANA and HENRY on opposite sides of the table.)
HENRY: Well, yeah. I’m a nerd, but I’ve known for, like, ages that you’re into me. You’re not that great at hiding it. Anyway, you’re a nerd toooo….
ANA: Okay. (pause) Yeah I do. (blushes deep crimson) But don’t look at me like that. OMG you’re totally having dirty thoughts right now! (giggles heartily)
HENRY: (taking ANA’s hand and smiling) Yeah?
Becca Tarnas 